I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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