the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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