it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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