Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
