Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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