your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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