I just saw a hot homeless man
Me. At least after what I've been through.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
