Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
