I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
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yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
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after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!