I skipped work to stalk him.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
