some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
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