Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
