apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
