Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
