At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
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I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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