just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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