She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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