"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you would pick up someone in the library
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
