As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
