If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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