I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
They took my balls.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
