there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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