bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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