Me too!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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