I hope mine doesn't look like that
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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