morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We don't watch enough power rangers
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
