so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
