Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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