Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
