he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
this must be what syphilis tastes like
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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