You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
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Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
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I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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