Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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