Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
