he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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