what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
