The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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