My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
