they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
