haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
