In the future we'll all be gay
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
