YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
