I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
