I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
whose parrot is this?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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