i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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