haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
