I must be too annoying 4 u.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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