I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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