i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
