my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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