Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
