I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
