If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
