So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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