So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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