someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
