Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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