Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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