He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
